If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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