he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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