Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
