i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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