She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
