I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
