hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Small penises have feelings too.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Who died my cat blue again?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
