they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
