So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
