somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
