i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
