He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
