There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
