Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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