I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So many bounce houses so little time
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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