She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
