I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize