I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize