Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
