I need help removing her.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
pray to the hookup gods
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
