This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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