Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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