they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize