Got a toothbrush?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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