So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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