when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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