wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
