I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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