If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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