I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
