You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
