Will you blow on my dice?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
