Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize
