I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
