I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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