Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
