that's an acceptable place to lick
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Who died my cat blue again?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
