Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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