apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your penis caused this!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
