is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You coming home soon, man?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.