yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
