I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
