I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
