the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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