im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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