Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
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So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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