One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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