Its about making memories worth repressing
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
