dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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