I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
