Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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