It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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