Fine. I'll sleep in my office
do herpes really smell.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
