I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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