I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize