She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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