Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
