dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
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If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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