She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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