wat bout pragnant strippers??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
