i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want her autograph on my taint
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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