Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
