I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize