Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
