If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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