things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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